My Sanctuary

I am sitting in my home on the one day a week I can breath.  The day the cleaning lady comes.  Every week I get one hour when Stella is at school and Tiger is asleep and the cleaning lady has just cleaned my house and I can breath.  It is my favorite hour of the week. 

I was thinking how my house was clean every day in the Philippines.  It was nice, and at the same time not nice.  I miss the live in help but I don't miss the sadness that comes with poverty.

Belgium and I are getting along.  I am gaining acceptance and this country has given me indifference, which is better than annoyance.

Our house has been rented out by the Embassy for 20 years.  This means our neighbors have had to put up with new people every 2-4 years. 

They have declared us and the next-door Americans (also Embassy) the nicest Americans in years.  Can I get that etched in a glass block?  It would read, "Sunny and Seth, pretty nice for Americans."

So here are a few funny notes from my time here:

• The beef I bought today was confirmed 100% muscle on the package.  That makes me want to go veg right there, ewww muscle?
• Since I live in Brussels proper there is going to be trick-or-treating.  Get ready Belgium we don't do Halloween half way.  We go all the way.  So excited about this, Halloween is definitely on the top three list of favorite holidays.
• There is a child that keeps running into my backyard and jumping over my fence to a neighborhood park.  Yesterday he knocked down my flowers and I am not pleased.  Note: learn French to chew out les enfants.  I can't wait to be an old lady so I can yell at all the neighbor kids.  I will be an awesome cranky old lady. 

 And finally your weird Sunny culture tour of the week:  took the kids to Technopolis the other day and they exchanged their flowers and pollination exhibit for a true "birds and bees" exhibit.  Check out how Europe deals with sex for elementary aged kids.

Watch out young girls keep mouse traps under their skirts here.  Who needs birth control when you have a mouse trap?  Why aren't we showing this same exhibit in the US?  Think of all the good it could do.

A heart shaped bed with a video playing above.  Did not watch video but was informed by Stella of it's existence later.  Praying it was not is showing what I would expect to find above a heart shaped bed.

Condoms that blow up with the touch of a button.  The kids thought this was great.  I feel funny about this being in existence. 

And there you have it folks, sex-ed via European style.

Family Photos 2011

I try to be good about taking pictures of my kids but I would be lying if I said I took even half as many of Tiger as I did of Stella at the same age.  The second kid gets the shorter end of the stick in that way.  I was the second kid and so was Seth and somehow we survived.

Blaylocks 2010

Last October our friend Nancy took some family pics.  This year we had our friend Maren take some pics.  See how much we have changed in a year.

PS Watching Wonder Pets in Dutch and I am pretty sure I just heard them say "A baby A Hole, das est serious"

Slightly Sick Enough to Be Lazy

The kids are both slightly sick today.  Sick enough to miss school but not sick enough to want to take a nap.  Sick enough that when they both had nuclear melt downs last night I suspected something might be off.

I don't mind.  I like these lazy days.  They are on my bed watching Sesame Street while I shop online and pin things on Pinterest.  My new hobby these days.  It is a combination file cabinet/ craft ideas book.  It is totally becoming my new Facebook.

I am letting myself have a morning to chill after our crazy Sunday.  I am the music director for my church's children choir.  We had our big presentation yesterday.  This is a big deal for the kids anyway but for me things were complicated exponentially since our congregation is dual lingual.  Not bi-lingual, dual.  As in some people speak French and some speak English but not too many people speak both.  Myself included.  So I have spent the past three months teaching these kids songs in a language I don't speak.  We performed yesterday and they did great but it was a lot of work and I am glad it is over.

Stella is happy about missing school.  She tolerates it but is still not head over heals about her preschool.  I admit I am tolerating it but not head over heals either and I hope our attitudes are not linked.  I try to keep my attitudes to myself.

The latest drama as of late is snack time.  In Belgium they have a communal snack.  Stella as I have mentioned is painfully picky.  She does not like "wet" fruit.  So when they put a wet sticky apple in front of her or a mushy banana she wants no part of it.  They are fine with this but she is not allowed something she brought from home.  So she goes hungry.  So far this stand-off has lasted two months and she hasn't budged. Luckily this school does not punish kids for not eating their snack like my neighbor's son's school.  At his school they make you sit by yourself if you don't eat all of your snack.  Nothing teaches eating disorders like shaming.

Of course the Europeans think I am nuts for being concerned and they are confident that my daughter will fall in line with their program.  I wouldn't hold my breath but we shall see.

In other kid news Tiger is self potty training.  I have done this before and now realize diapers are MUCH easier than running a kid to a toilet every 30 minutes but this kid HATES being wet and begs to use the potty almost every time.  He is getting so big.

Shelob Attacks

When we bid on Belgium I was imagining all the beauties of a first world country.  Sidewalks, parks. museums, clean grocery stores, hygiene.  What I didn't account for would be the MASSIVE SPIDERS THAT INFEST THIS KINGDOM!

Written by a Florida girl, the spiders here are the largest creatures I have ever had to deal with in my life.  Not only do they have about a four inch leg span, they are hairy, they are fast, and they leave a nasty bite.  

It is October now and our brief flirtation with summer is over.  It is typical Belgium again.  Rainy.  Cold.

Spiders are common sense creatures they don't like the weather of Belgium and they want in.

We first started seeing them in the garage, which makes sense because they can sneak in through the garage door.

Thanks to www.gardensafari.net to help me identify the massive creature living in my kitchen.

Then I found one on the first level that shares the same level as the garage.  Fair enough, we left the door open or something and they decided to make a run for it.

Today they pushed the bar:  I saw a five inch spider in my KITCHEN.  Stella discovered it first and I did what any responsible parent would do.  I ushered the children out and started crying and screaming.  

I found my meanest looking boots, put them on and stomped with the all the rage and fury I have.  As I was stomping I was screaming, "You.  Are.  Not.  Supposed. To. Be. Here."  Now I have a muddy, furry, gooey mess on my kitchen carpet that still scares me.

The worse part of all of this: no spider spray. Belgium takes a common sense and not an emotional response to spiders and they do not spray for them.  They claim that they are not a life threatening pest.  Perhaps not life threatening but emotionally terrifying.  If you have a problem they recommend cleaning out your house.  No sprays are available and I cannot ship liquids from the U.S.

My solution?  Perhaps I should release ravens to eat all the spiders.  Any ideas?

The Downward Dogs

Belgium is beautiful.  Beautiful.  It is clean, green, fresh.  There is a sense of pride taken in the home.  Even a small yard is carefully manicured.  We are the neighborhood eye sore since our English ivy has taken over my front garden.  I planted flowers in hopes to get back in the neighborhood good graces.  Here's hoping.

The people here are very particular about their health also.  Pesticides that my country has deemed moderately safe are not allowed here.  I had a doctor inform me that dairy will be my death and there is a very strong push to force all children to eat a balanced diet starting from birth (whether or not the kids like it, which FYI no, no she is not going to eat a large raw tomato.  Surprise).

So here is what I don't understand.

If the people here are so meticulous and caring about their lawns and the look of their neighborhood why do they never even bother to bring a bag to pick up the poop?

The other day I was outside, a neighbor came by with their pooch and sure enough my yard was it's chosen toilet.  They would have kept walking except I was there.  They asked for bag when they caught my eye.  AS IF THEY WERE NOT EXPECTING THIS EVENT TO HAPPEN.

Gross.

Everywhere we go there are large turds from neighborhood pets.  People just pretend like it isn't happening as if not looking will somehow afford their dog the privacy it deserves and then keep walking.  My sidewalk is littered with bombs of dog poop.

And now I question health.

I know these people are very conscious of their health.  As I mentioned it is part of their upbringing from a baby on.  Yet, they haven't seemed to catch on to the whole smoking will kill you message.  Everywhere I look people are smoking.  Not just at bars or in places adults congregate but everywhere.  When I go to pick up Stella there is a mom every day puffing away while she pushes her overdressed baby in her Bugaboo.  I don't get it?  How can they be so careful in their life that they don't allow pesticides but then in the same breath not do anything to have a campaign against second hand smoke on children.

And then there are the teenagers.  We live close to a large school and a large park.  At lunch I see the high school age kids eat their lunch at the park by my house.  I find it crazy town that they drink beer or wine at lunch during their school day.  Am I being Puritanical and prudish?  Perhaps but really, don't you need to have a sharp mind to learn at school and do you really want to have alcohol in your system?  Does no one else think this is weird?  Is this just cultural or am I missing something?

So here I am in the land that disapproves of me for sending my daughter to school with dehydrated fruit instead of fresh fruit and then in the same breath has no problem with a mother blowing smoke on their newborn baby and giving their 16 year old a lager for lunch during the school day.

What do you think?  Why is there such a big cultural gap on these things?  What makes us different?

No, No, No

For those people who used to read my blog but stopped because all I ever talk about is the international schooling woes, sorry but it isn't time to come back.  Here is yet another post about schooling your kid overseas.

After much thought, discussion, phone calls, crying, praying, and then doing it all over again Seth and I decided however awesome the International School of Brussels is (please take a look at the link and do the virtual tour so you can have your jaw drop like mine did), it just isn't worth it for our family.

They could seriously teach Stella how to ride a horse on her head and speak eight languages and it still wouldn't be worth it.  Why?  Why?

Well, to get my dear one to this El Dorado of schools we would have to get her up at 6:45 to catch the bus, Stella is not a morning person to begin with.  We would get crabby Stella up and feed and dress her to catch her bus.  She would be on this bus for over an hour.  Oh, and she would be on a bus with kids from ages 3-18.  Even though this is a private school I remember my days of public schooling and I know that rotten things happen on buses, rotten.  But that is besides the point.

So little S gets to school and has a full eight hours of instruction.  She then takes an hour bus ride home and is home by 4:30.  She is tired and cranky when she comes home.

I feed her by 5:30 and get her ready for bed by 6:30, thats right because she will be five, and five year olds need about 12 hours of sleep.

Which would mean, she does not see her dad, as in until Saturday.

You see at this post Seth works pretty late and a lot of days we dont' see him until 7 in the evening.  So, if we go to this school Stella will not be able to see her dad much and probably be super cranky.

There is an alternative, I could drive her and shorten her 2 hour commute to 1.25 hours.  But that means Tiger won't be able to go to preschool and gas is not cheap here, and really?  Is it really worth it?

For us, the answer is no.

Which brings me back to crying.  I have always said from the beginning the only conisistency I can give my kids in this life is the international school system and already from the get go I am messing around with that.  Perhaps I have a bit of mommy guilt but isn't that part of the job?

In the end we are putting Stells in a fantastic school that is bilingual and perfect for her needs. I decided what is best for the family is what is best for this five year old.

Next post that is churning in my head: local schools and parental involvement.  Here is the premise: PTAs don't exist and you scare us crazy American.

Choices I Never Had

Today we toured another amazing school in our kindergarten hunt.  This one subscribed to the Montessori method.  It was so cool to walk in and see all these kids actively engaged in projects.  One kid was baking, another making words out of weird cursive letters, another was doing some funny number chart, one was doing math on an abacas, another was running around without pants (not sure what that was about).

The school is everything I ever wanted as a child.  They develop a program that meets the individual's needs working both in groups and individually.  I think Stella could really thrive in a school like that.

What are the cons?  Well, they mix all of the 3-5 year olds together which I am not sure is a con but it is different.  They also don't have a gym sponsored by Nike and are not surrounded by ancient royal forests.  The children bake their own bread for snack at this school versus the pastry chef on staff at the other school.

Seriously I feel like I am choosing between gold and gold because both of these schools are amazing.

The con about the Nike sponsored school?  It would take my little Stella away for ten hours.  Yup, she would be at school for eight hours and spend two hours on the bus every day.

That is a long day for a five year old.  A really long day.

Then I have to ask myself this question: what is best for Stella?

We don't know where we are going next.  It could be Antarctica for all I know (although diplomatically that is probably unlikely since our ties there are pretty frozen), but I worry.  I put these kids through so much change and I worry that if when we go to another post she is going to have to do a new country, potentially new language, and then a new schooling system.

Oiy, my head hurts thinking about it all.

So here are the pros to Montessori:

• Develops an individual learning plan and fosters independent play (she could use this)
• Not a two hour commute
• It is 50/50 French/English so her French would get better (Nike school only does 30 minutes of French a day)
• They have music instrument lessons during school and we have a violin that is dying to be played, this is part of school not after school (Nike school it is after school)
• We get a 15% discount if we put Tiger there, although even with the discount it is still more than my university tuition (and this includes grad school), hmph...this would force me to get a job to pay for preschool
• More international feel

Here are the pros to the Nike sponsored International School

• The campus is amazing
• The playground is amazing
• The teacher to student ratio is good 1:10  Montessori is 1:12
• There are computers for each kid
• Great library
• Ease into American system if we go back to U.S. or another international school
• Pastry chef and awesome cafeteria
• More families like us (this could be a con)

Really I am not sure what we will do.  Either way I am excited for Stella.  And please watch that YouTube video of Max Fischer's clubs in Rusmore.  Best. Movie. Ever.

For those who have had experience with either the traditional international schools or Montessori schools please chime in.