Doh!

I rarely subscribe to the weekly State round-up assignment, its hard enough writing without an assignment, but I have vowed to be better about keeping my blog current and I can't pass up an opportunity to share with the world how many international faux pas I have committed.

Growing up my father traveled internationally for work.  My mom was raising five kids and as punishment to my father she would purchase a new pet every time he left.  (That is another story altogether).  One summer my dad decided to give my mom a break and take two of the five kids.  So, my younger brother Michael and I were taken to Dublin for three weeks while he attended business meetings all week.  I was 14, Mike was 12.

After three weeks we had seen all we could see and decided to go search for a museum downtown.  We found the museum and marched right in.  I don't know how or why but we were able to get inside and into the main area.  Trying to find the exhibits and feeling confused we knew something was wrong.  It was when a team of security guards started running after us we know something was really wrong.

Apparently we had walked into Irish parliament, in session.  Somehow we were able to get all the way to the point that we waked in and saw it in session.  Maybe it was because we were young, or innocent.  Either way, it shouldn't have happened and the Irish were not happy (insert Lucky Charms joke here).  We were escorted by the security guards out of parliament.  Oops!

Things of note for ex-pats going to the Philippines:

Tomboy = lesbian , do not describe yourself as a tomboy unless you wish to convey that you are also a lesbian.  If you want to say you are sporty just tell them you like sports.

"For a while" = just a minute.  Do not get annoyed when they tell you that you will be waiting "for a while"

Sexy = pretty.  Do not get offended when they refer to your husband, child, or yourself as sexy.  It has very little to do with sex appeal and a whole lot to do with looking nice.

Eggs = Testicles (actually for that matter pretty much any bird reference is referring to some part down south.  Get your junior high snicker on and you can figure it out: bird, nest, eggs, etc).

Sadly I had to learn all of these words the hard way.

Cabin Fevers and Real Fevers

We are finished....nine days.  Our home had one form of fever, diarrhea, vomiting or chills for nine days.  And now, we are free!

To celebrate: 

Where we saw:

OK, maybe not that exact production, but still.  (They didn't allow cameras and sneaking my cell phone camera is just creepy.

The puppet show was awesome.  It was also filled with children.  Lots and lots of children.  Children are living petri dishes of filth. 

Which means in two to five days I can expect another nine days of cabin fever. 

In other less snarky news, time is flying by and we are getting excited to get to our next post (even though it isn't flying by fast enough).  Seth is at a 2/2 in French and has another four months to get to a 3/3, yay Seth.  He is starting to think in French and thinks he can explain tenses and conjugations to me as if it were giving me a simple grocery list.  I have enlisted a friend to start tutoring me, which should start next week.  Yay!

So we are kind of having a tough time deciding what to do about our car.  We LOVE our Mini-Cooper.  Love.  It is tiny, zippy, cute, fits the kids and wards off guests staying too long.  It fits all our crap and reminds me that I can't live in our car (I take in the junk more often).  It is perfect in so may ways.  And in Europe...it should be parfait!

However, we found out that we have to have rear fog lights in Belgium.  No big deal right?  Well, so far it looks to be a bigger deal that we had thought.  Apparently altering a Mini is like untying a Gordian knot, it just can't be done.  At least, not easily.  So we toyed at selling our beloved and practically new car, but that just sucks, and in the end I am not sure I want to sell the mini.  I think the answer is figure out an easy way to install rear fog lights without messing up the complicated computer system that is my magnificent piece of machinery, my mini. 

If we did sell the mini we were thinking about a Mazda5.  They are as big as a station wagon and have three rows of two.  So when all of my mooching relatives and friends come and visit me, I would be able to be a proper tour guide.  But, until I officially decide what to do, you folks will be renting a car.

The Last Domino Falls

It was bound to happen.  After spending a week cleaning up Stella's vomit and Tiger's watery diapers it finally hit me.  I started to feel sick last night, went to bed and the fever set.  I was up all night.  Woke up with fever and chills and all day I have been shivering and hot at the same time.

Seth started coming down with the flu about three hours before me and luckily has seemed better than me the whole day, because someone has to take care of our children, and my achy bones were not up for it.

This afternoon it snowed and I would be really excited and declare a sledding day, except that I have a fever, chills, and I cannot go further than 20 feet from the bathroom.

Ready to finish this winter, get better, and start feeling good again.

The Eternal January

Can it please be March?  I am done with winter.  This month has dragged on F O R E V E R.  Maybe it is the let down after the fun Christmas holidays, maybe it is the 20 degree F temperature (I included the F because I would love 20 C temperature now, seriously).

I had a bit of a melt down of my own yesterday.  Tiger cried all day long.  He would not be put down for anything.  A 28 pound child starts to hurt after a minute or two, it was all day.  Stella didn't like being ignored and had woken up at 5 for some unexplainable reason.  So, both kids were whiney.

Seth comes home and a beam of light enters our home.  I run to the kitchen to make dinner so we can put these kids to bed.  In my effort to try to make healthy food I make whole grain pancakes, breakfast cookies with super fiber cereal in them and a yummy berry sorbet (also healthy with tons of fruit, avocado, and sweetened with honey) for dessert.  Perhaps not a totally balanced meal but it is a start.  I thought for sure no one can put up a fuss about this spread.  Stella picked at one pancake, said she only eats cookies with chocolate, and the sorbet was yucky.  That pushed me pretty close to the edge but I think it was Tiger throwing his cookie, pancake, and dumping the sorbet on the carpet that did me in.

Neither child ate a thing.

Since I was busy cleaning the tossed food I didn't get anything to eat either.

It was a tense moment.  One of those moments you start to understand why people go crazy.

Luckily it passed and I woke up happy and excited to see my bright eyed babies.  Seth got to see the first blue eyed beauty.  Tiger had woken up and was sitting in a chocolate milkshake, except it wasn't a milkshake and it isn't exactly chocolate.  So that is my day today. The silver lining: we now know why he was fussy all day.

Tiger is having a jamies day.  

Also this morning Stella was ravenous and ate a breakfast cookie from last night DESPITE them not having chocolate.  And for the first time in almost a year she let me put her hair in pig tails.  A big deal for Stella.

Stella sporting pig tails and her standard uniform of a sweater dress.

Sleep Deprivation with a Cherry on Top

I am in a haze of existence right now.  I feel like I did after a flight to Asia.  A little dizzy, room is spinning, my eye is twitching.  In the past 48 hours I have had 6 hours of sleep. 

Forget about my New Year's resolution to get more sleep.  My life include small children and sleep and children don't co-exist.

Stella woke up Thursday night at 9:00 calling for me.  When I went upstairs she was covered in her dinner.  We cleaned her up and right as she was fresh and clean she lost it again, all over her hair and jamies.  We cleaned her again.  Put her to bed.  She puked in her bed. 

At this point we are running low on hot water.  The wash is running, the bath is running, and my little girl is sick.

I decided to let her sleep with us.  This meant no sleep for me.  She got sick about four more times.  Into the day she still can't keep water down.  After 16 hours of being sick she kept some juice in and started to get her color.  I was tired and dying to go to sleep.

Friday night is my big make-up sleep and I am so tired I could cry.

At 2:30 am I am awoken to this being screamed, "I am going to F*** you in the face! I am going to kill you!"

Not the best wake up call.  My not-so-cute next door neighbors are totally drunk and the girl is beating some guy who is laying on the ground passed out.  Her roommate is trying to hold her back.  I was livid.  I was awoken by someone who was not my next of kin!

I call 9-1-1 and tell them about my trashy neighbors.  They send two cop cars, a firetruck, and an ambulance.  I can only assume the big firetruck was for backup paramedic but really?  The thing was 60 feet long.  There are flood lights in my bedroom and the girl has to be calmed down by the police officer. 

The leave at 3:45 am and I am so tired my eyes are twitching.  I am angry.  I am wide awake.

I beg Seth to snuggle me so I can calm down.  He gladly obliges.  I finally shut my eyes and at 4:30 Tiger wakes up. 

With the flu going around I feel like I can't ignore him.  I calm him down and put him back to sleep (he wasn't sick). 

5:00 am Stella climbs into bed and wants to snuggle which means I get about six inches of mattress.
 6:30 am Tiger is ready to wake up.  I get up with him so Seth and Stella can sleep some more. 
7:00 Stella wakes up and I hand Tiger to Seth to try to sleep for the first time since 2:30.

I feel awful.

The cherry on top is this: Uncle Ben and Aunt Andrea came and watched the kiddies this afternoon so Seth and I could escape to Spa World.  Spa World is a Korean water, sauna, steam spa.  You pay $30 and can stay as long as you want.  It has pools, hot tubs, differing sauna rooms and textures.  Super fun but super naked.  If you can't handle being naked forget it.  The entire pool area is separated by gender and totally nudey nude.  After having 2 kids I feel like I have nothing to loose and was fine but I imagine Sunny of 12 years ago would have been squirming just a bit. 

For a naked good time go to Spa World  in Centerville.  Super fun and I was able to get some shut eye among naked strangers.  It was fantastic and made my terrible day into a very tolerable day.

Shattered

Today was supposed to be a really good day.  Today is Thursday and Thursday is the one out of two days a week that I get to take my beautiful babies and send them away for 2.5-3 hours.  And I had big plans.

Most of the plans consisted of watching:

While walking 4.5 mph on this:

(I would show actual footage of me working out but the YMCA is so not cool with camera phones being used and Tina Fe is WAAAY funnier).
I finished my workout and was covered with sweat when I get a call.  The dreaded call.  Tiger's play group was calling.  He had been crying for an hour and half.  I needed to come and get him.

So I get some clothes on (he was crying not injured), no shower, hop in the car.

My poor kid is just miserable.  His mouth is hurting him and there is nothing I can do.  A lot of people have recommended all sorts of really good remedies, really good if you have the self control or knowledge to spit.  Sadly my nineteen month old only spits involuntarily or when I try to feed him something healthy.  He hasn't been eating well, he hasn't been sleeping well.  He hurts and he just wants to be held.

The day pretty much went like that until Seth got home.

That night I was forced to attend a training for the co-op.  It was on health assessment, how to know when a kid is sick.  You know because parents can only figure that out in a class.

So I am drifting off and wishing I was watching Thursday night TV when I hear this tidbit:

"Hand sanitizer is in no way a substitute for soap!"

My ears perk up.  My ears perk up for two reasons and both take me back to the Philippines:
1.  I had an awesome masseuse in the Philippines who would always use the bathroom before she started rubbing me.  She would never wash her hands in my bathroom but always used alcohol sanitizer and I was a little weirded out by that.

2.  Before I had my c-section with Tiger I used the hospital bathroom.  I went to wash my hands and there was no soap.  I complained in my usual way that I was all too tired of hearing at that point, and the nurse directed me to some hand sanitizer gel.  I argued with her that if I had gotten poop on my hands and used the hand sanitizer it would just be poop with alcohol on it but it would still be there (I didn't actually get poop on my hands).  Of course the nurse just got embarrassed about me talking loudly and about poop and repeated that there is hand sanitizer.  This would have left my mind but then right before my surgery I see my doctor go to scrub in and her process involves only using hand sanitizer and no soap, now let me give my awesome Filipino doctor credit.  She may have scrubbed in somewhere else that I didn't see, all I saw was the dollop of alcohol gel before my c-section.  Somehow I survived but lets not forget I got a freaking parasite four days after giving birth, a parasite contracted through fecal matter ingestion.

I guess the whole thing that I took out of everything, something I knew then and something I know now, trust your gut.  If it seems gross it is gross.  When it comes to your health you need to enforce others to comply to your standards of sanitation.

Even with all of that, I miss the Philippines sometimes; not always, but sometimes.

The Canker Gnaws

On Saturday our cute neighbors had us over for dinner.  They have a little girl that is a year older than Tiger and a year younger than Stella.  Which meant Stella had someone who would pretend with her and didn't mind being bossed around.  Perfect (or as Stella has been saying 'parfait', she wants to impress her daddy).

Our kids were really well behaved, initially, everyone was happy, and then we decide to eat.  Within five minutes of eating Stella is rejecting her food and then she runs to the bathroom.  Once Stella's chair was emptied Tiger takes over, starts to eat her food and then with a fork in hand falls over the chair.  Blood is everywhere.  Screaming.

I call for Seth but he is gone.  At that exact moment Stella had an accident (she didn't know where their bathroom was, tight leggings, a disaster waiting to happen really).  To make matters worse we had no change of clothes or wipes (it was across the street so I didn't think to prepare well.  We ended up putting her in Tiger's diaper and begging some wipes off the neighbors.

The snotty nose is from crying after a fight with his sister.

Tiger had badly bitten his lip in three places.  To this day I am still not sure if he bit it all the way through or just in three spots.  Now he has a canker sore plus.  He has been waking up at five every morning screaming about his boo boo and food bothers him too.  Poor little guy.

Poor kid.  Look at that canker it is bigger than his tooth.

What can you do for a giant caker sore on a baby?

Banging it Out!

Here is the history:
1990: got bangs and a spiral perm.  I thought it was awesome.  It wasn't.
2007: After I had Stella my hair decided it wanted to go the way of the placenta and all fell out.  I had tons of hair just poking out so I decided to make good with it and cut bangs.  The result was this:

That was the cutest day it looked. It was all down hill from there.

So here I am 2011.  The urge is hitting me again.  I want to look have cute Zoey Deschanel hair.

But then I remember that bangs are a hassle, never sit right, and get in my eyes.  Forget cool bangs that swoop in your eyes.  I have those in a clip before my hair is even dry.

So here is my hair now:

I darkened it a bit to get rid of all the gross damaged caused by idiot hair stylists in Asia that have no idea how to do my very basic boring blonde hair and over bleached it.  (Don't even get me started on my friend's hair who they burned off, yup, hospitals were involved).  I just think bangs could be cute, but I also know how much I will hate myself when I have to flat iron them or something.  How do people even make the straight bang look good?  I have never figured it out and that is part of the problem.  

Almost Famous

Remember when I lived in the Philippines and I met a fashion designer named Oliver Tolentino who made this dress for me?

and this dress

and this dress

My maternity gown or if I just feel bloated or anti-spanx, this is my dress

Well, Oliver Tolentino also designed this dress

Yup, that's the girl from Glee (her name is Amber Riley). 

Yay for Oliver!  Yay for me having five of his dresses (not pictured: bridesmaid dress and a cocktail dress that I got right before I left and need to wear it as soon as I get to Belgium and get invited to boring work things with Seth - the only perk to those events are the fun dresses).

Cooking Like its 2008

Remember when there was a big controversy about sneaking vegetables into your kids food?  Then there was that Seinfield wife book and then there was that lady who sued her.  Yeah, I remember that too.  I also remember thinking that it is ridiculous and unnecessary to hide vegetables in food blah, blah, blah.

Well here I am, three years later with a 3 1/2 year old and a toddler and let me tell you how my tune is changing.  Stella refuses to eat fruits or vegetables.  It used to just be "wet" fruits but she could handle freeze dried strawberries, apples.  But lately it has gotten even worse, no fruits, no vegetables.  Begging, pleading, bartering, threatening.

And if that is not enough.  Tiger, my good eater, is giving me a hard time about everything I offer.  The other day I made curry chicken, carrots, and naan bread.  The kids picked at the bread and by the end of the meal Tiger was eating Cheerios, Stella was  finishing her bread and asking for Cheerios and I was spent.

I am tired of cooking three different dinners.  So, no more.

I decided to change the way my family eats by sneaking purees into their food.  Getting started is a hassle but once you get it all done you can freeze it and you are good to go for a while.

I went to Whole Foods and stocked up on tons of produce.  I actually left the store feeling healthier.  I spent a couple hours on Saturday pureeing all sorts of vegetables.  Stella came into the kitchen and asked "what is that awful smell?"

This morning we had chocolate milkshakes with hidden spinach and blueberries, for lunch a failed Mac and cheese with cauliflower, and for dinner Chicken Parmesan with hidden peas, spinach, and broccoli (a keeper).

So far its  coming along and I am excited more about the concept than the recipes.  After following a few of the recipes I am starting to get confident enough to try a few of my standards and healthy them up.  I will let you know how it goes.

Neglect

Dear Blog Readers,

I have sucked.  Forgive me.

Here is what we have been up to:

 

Sledding

 Building blanket forts:

Building Blanket Forts

Making snow angels:

Snow Angels

Learning to tell jokes:



More Paperwork

We have been filling out housing surveys for next post and getting excited at the idea of moving again, especially out of this furnished rental.  I love the location and think this house has major potential to be awesome but the furnishings are old antiques and toddlers are not known for their great antique preservation skills.  I miss my stuff, at this point I am even excited about government furniture.   Yeah, its that bad.

Which brings me back to our housing survey.  We have no idea what we will get but we are hoping for a more urban place in Brussels, which means smaller and less if any yard.  However, let it be said, yards don't make me happy, having a second parent makes me happy and I am not willing to give up an hour a day of dual parenting.

Playgroup

So far the playgroup is going along well.  There are a lot of cool moms and it is good to be around adults.  I have found in this town there are so many people on training or other carriers of dip passports that people sort of write you off once they find out you are not sticking around.  I find this at church, in my neighborhood, and in the schools.  Its not that they aren't nice but they realize you are leaving and they don't want to invest in a friendship that will end in eight months (or at this point for us five).  And truth be told my last three months in Manila I felt that same way.  Social karma I suppose.


Cold = Boring

I forgot how cold cold can be.  I also forgot that it means that if you are outside for more than five minutes your skin starts to hurt.  This means no parks, no walks, and a bunch of cabin-fever kids.  It has been hard and I am honestly thinking about getting one of these:

They aren't cheap but getting a new couch can be expensive too.  Advice?

Lottery Winner

So my son finally got off the wait list, won the lottery and now attends a playgroup (basically a preschool run by parents) which is right next door to his big sister.

After the initial excitement about winning this coveted slot the downside soon came.  FORMS, FORMS, FORMS.

Not just a few forms but 25 different forms.

Everything from health reports, I read a report, TB screening (a drama unto itself when you have lived abroad), background checks, sex offender checks.  I have been working on said forms for two weeks and I am still not done.

I had to find a notary which you would think in this country would be an easy thing.  Since we don't live here locally we don't have a local bank, I went to a bank that I do have a credit card with and they refused to help me until I opened a checking account.  I took a handful of candy and with both kids in tow stormed out of there, not my best moment but it felt good.  I went to the post office, notary was gone.  I went to the library, the notary is only there on Wednesday.  As I was in tears a lady from my church emailed me and said she would help me out.  Can I just say how much I love having a community here.

So, Tiger started playgroup and he seemed to be in heaven.

And now here I am at home, alone, blogging again because I now have four hours to myself every week!

Yet Another Sign

I spent New Years Eve asleep on my couch by nine o'clock.  I didn't even try to hide my intentions, at some point the coolness factor goes away and you know come rain or shine your kids get up at seven.  I will give myself some credit.  This past year we were able to convince or somehow condition Stella to stop waking up at 5.  Now she gets up around 6:30, climbs into our bed and sings.  This usually prompts one of us in a sleeping stupor to hand an iphone to her.  So if you get a weird call or email from me at 6 in the morning, you have Stella to thank.

I saw signs of the wild partying the night before as we went to a strip mall to go shopping.  Stella has grown three inches in the past three months and she needs new clothes.  Normally I would just order everything online and on sale but lately homegirl has had more than an opinion and I am tired of buying clothes that she refuses to wear (do I sound like my own mom or what).  So, we made her try on everything before we bought it.  Outside of the The Children's Place there is the IHOP where many a DC-ers were nursing their hangovers.  The only hangover I had was from Tiger's three a.m. wake up call telling me he is still in bed and would like to be cuddled briefly.  Cute but less so at that hour.

Later in the day we did something we have yet to do as a family: we went to a movie.  We saw Tangled and I have to say it was really good, for a kid movie.  Stella, of course, still freaked out at some point and asked to go home but we made it through and Tiger was a dream child.  He loved it.  It made me excited that we could do things that were once just a pipe dream, we could... see a movie!  Wow.  It is fun getting to a point where we can move around again.

I am looking forward to 2011.  I am grateful to 2010, it was a fantastic year with lots of wonderful people and places that are missed.