This is Why I Love the Philippines

It's like someone reached into my dreams and airbrushed it onto the side of a jeepney. Fly, unicorn! Fly! Fly on to Fantasia!

Word

From Subic

Stella has been talking so much lately.  I cannot believe how fast she is acquiring her language skills.  Today she was saying her name "Stella" and pointing to herself.  She now knows the letter "S" and can identify the color red.  This is in ONE week.  Last week there was no letter S or colors at all.  Growth can happen so fast.  

From Subic

We went to the beach this weekend.  While at the beach we were attacked by monkeys (no I am not joking, this really happened).  These monkeys came out from the woods and started begging for food.  When people weren't fast enough they got aggressive and started jumping from cabana to cabana for food.  I was terrified because I have heard of puncture wounds caused by monkeys.  Stella was delighted.  

From Subic

Stella is looking so big.  Notice all the puzzles in the background.  This is an activity that she can't seem to get enough of.

From Subic

XOXO

As the wife of a diplomat I feel intense pressure to live up to this image of an international lady of the world, who can put on a meal for 20 at a moments notice, is always rested, only speaks of interesting subjects, and is a gracious host.

The federal government provides a lengthy handbook that looks something like this. I first approached this handbook as a diligent student. I read it, studied it, and made some mental notes. Now that I am actually here and it matters, the suggested seating arrangements look more like Venn diagrams. The suggested introductions feel like a script from a play where I am the unstudied understudy on opening night.

It isn't bad, but lets just say I occasionally feel intimidated. Just remember it has only been around 25 years since the spouse of the diplomat was included in employee evaluations. That still isn't going to keep us from going out or entertaining. These modern diplomats rocked it out Saturday by having Rock Band party.

In practice everything has been great. The two areas that I have not come to terms with are these: babies/toddlers and protocol do not match. We were requested to keep Stella from the food as we waited for an event to start "officially" (which would have been 90 minutes after the start time.) Sadly Stella didn't understand that and a very hungry grouchy pregnant woman broke the floodgates of protocol and served herself up a large helping of pasta salad.

The second area of protocol isn't really protocol, but seemingly diplomatic custom: the social kiss. I am not used to this. I get nervous at every greeting because I realize there is a potential kiss coming and there is a whole world of what type of social kiss possibilities. First of all, you never know if you have a Southern Belle One Kisser, only one kiss yet actually touches the skin or the Woody-Woodpeckers, they never stop, three of four pecks go by and you think you have entered into a social kissing orgy. The most common kiss here is the double kiss, starting on the right and going to the left. I never know who is into it -- usually women, but you never know. I am just sucking it up and doling them out as fast as I can keep the chapstick on.

XOXO
You Know You Love Me

Buttocks Massage!

Tired? Constipated? Suffering from poor posture? Come, let's go to the spa!

Sunny and I found this place in Quezon City that offers "water massage and hydrotherapy," after reading about it on the website we decided we had to try it ourselves. As a rule, we are game for anything that promises jets of water and unsubstantiated health benefits.

Ace Water Spa definitely lived up to those expectations. A small fee (including another small fee to buy some required "tight" booty shorts for me) and we were in. After donning suits and the requisite swim caps (we wouldn't want to end up dead), we stepped down into the pool area. The lap pool was not an option. We were there to relax, and have jets of water shoot at us. The water massage stations are surrounded by a "lazy river". Inside this circle, wonders await, including a powerful waterfall, chest jets, and hydrobeds, all at the touch of a button. Of course, our personal favorite had to be "Buttocks Massage," promising "the strong water spout out from the seat which hit the buttocks and massage it," to help "relieve constipation and hemorrhoids, etc." I'm not sure I want to know what the "etc." is all about, but my buttocks have never felt more massaged than at that moment.

After a few rounds of different massages, we hopped in and out of saunas, steam rooms, and hot lavender baths. I'm not sure if my toxin levels have lowered, but we did have a lot of fun.

Tamponspiration

It just keeps getting better. Thank you Playtex for these inspiring messages.

Suggested future messages:
Go with the flow!
Surf the wave.
You go girl! For three to five days and some bloating and cramps.
Have fun...with strings attached.
Don't worry labor will be worse.

Thundercloud of Homesickness

It hit me pretty hard yesterday. I woke up and tried to pretend that it wasn't a new day. Seth took Stella for as long as he could and then handed her off to Nisia. Even with the extra hour of sleep it wasn't enough to shake my grouchiness. I was set off the day before from a diaper rash caused by an poopy diaper that was allowed to sit until I got home that morning, followed by a miserable car ride and trip to the doctor for nothing. This was after three visits the week before for a staph infection on the arm and a second degree burn caused by a child level spotlight at the Clinique counter (WHY WOULD YOU PUT A 500 DEGREE LAMP ON THE FLOOR WITH NO PROTECTION?!!! Mabuhay, welcome to the Philippines.

I was temporarily relieved by a morning visit with some friends from church but could not shake this sick feeling. By Stella's nap I called my mom, waking her up. I heard her voice and started crying. It hit me at once, culture shock, homesickness. The Philippines is by no means as foreign as I thought it would be but it is far away from my friends and family and it just hit me.

I feel so much better today. I once again remember how wonderful things are and Stella's rash is getting better. I am so grateful to have technology to be able to call my sister and mother and friends whenever I want.

Life is good.

Stella looking at her new dollhouse.


The staph infection. Started off as a bug bite and in a week had about 15 open sore babies. Freaked me out.

Really?

 

Seriously? Feminine hygeine products are taking the place of Oprah in my life.